Saturday, December 13, 2008

Post-Disney Interview with Sarah (Part IV)

And so we reach the final, long-awaited chapter in our Disney Adventure: Animal Kingdom.

K: We started out at the Rainforest Cafe for lunch. You'd never heard of this place, but I'm very familiar with it - we had one at Sawgrass Mills. What'd you think?

S: I made friends with an elephant.

K: This place must be a lot of fun for kids, but so annoying for everyone else. Every 15 minutes, the animals come to life, and every 20 minutes, there's a thunderstorm.

S: Actually, the kids didn't seem to be having a lot of fun.

K: Did you like it, though?

S: It was OK. It was funny. They had the best stuff in the gift shop, it was ridiculous.

K: And then we went into the park itself. First stop: Dinosaur!

S: That was cool.

K: Why?

S: Dinosaurs!

K: So you liked this ride?

S: Yeah.

K: It wasn't too scary?

S: No, you said it was going to be scary. And I did see a little kid crying on their way out.

K: But sometimes it moves fast, that's what I'm talking about.

S: I thought it was exciting, actually, unlike most of them. They used the effects to make it exciting, but not scary.

K: So then we went to the Asia animal trail. It was nice! It's very zoo-like there, and zoos are fun.

S: True.

K: This is where we saw tigers and bats.

S: We saw some ridiculous tourists. The "Nowhere Butt Hawaii" guy [he was wearing a t-shirt featuring airbrushed bikini babes in thongs] who kept on saying all the animals were "good eatin'."

K: They probably were. But what about the tigers and bats? Any comment?

S: I liked them. And they had a mouse that was pretty cool.

K: All right. After that we went on the Kilimanjaro Safaris, featuring the most sarcastic tour guide ever.

S: Yeah, he was sarcastic.

K: But good! It was a lot of fun, and we sat in the front row!

S: Yep. We were the only people in the front row. It was fun. I thought we were gonna be better friends with the people at the end, but we all just went our separate ways.

K: What?

S: Remember the rapport we all had?

K: Oh, right. Some of those people were very chatty and jokey.

S: Actually, they were kind of obnoxious.

K: But we got really close to a rhino! And some deer or I don't know what they are.

S: That rhino is awesome. It was coming up to us. And it was big and cool. I like animals.

K: I like turtles.

K: And then we went to the Africa animal trail, where we saw that deer get on its hind legs.

S: That was adorable. Wait, that's where that ["Nowhere Butt Hawaii"] man was. Because he said that about the deer and some birds that we saw after that.

K: Right, that's right. And they had some gorillas, which I don't think I'd seen before, but it was pretty amazing.

S: I think people who don't love animals like I do get a kick out of gorillas, because they seem like people, only, you know, bigger and different. To me, we're all part of a global community...

(I give her a weird look.)

S: Hey, I'm trying to sound good for once. I liked the mouse, and I liked the gorillas.

K: I liked 'em, too! They were really big, and their faces are creepily expressive.

S: Mm-hmm, their eyes.

K: And in this week's episode of Survivor: Gabon, they went to Africa's Eden, a gorilla sanctuary. It was pretty impressive. You decided not to go on Expedition Everest.

S: Yeah, I watched about 12 of those cars go down the mountain, and I decided to not risk throwing up.

K: It wasn't that bad. I don't think the drop was as bad as Splash Mountain.

S: Really?

K: Yeah.

S: But it goes right into a turn afterward. That was the part I was worried about.

K: I didn't think it was that bad.

S: Plus, I didn't want to experience the fear of waiting in line and knowing I can't get off the ride, like I did on Splash Mountain.

K: With our FastPasses, I just waited like seven minutes each time. It was neat!

S: I would rather you have a good time twice than have you have a good time once with me possibly not.

K: That's very nice of you. That was about all we did, really. It was mostly a relaxing day in a zoo, with some rides. But I really liked Animal Kingdom! Anything else you want to say?

S: We didn't do anything else?

K: No, we just walked the animal trails. Oh, but we never talked about Downtown Disney!

S: True.

K: Downtown Disney had Earl of Sandwich...

S: Which was the highlight of your trip.

K: That was the best damn sandwich I've ever had in my life. It was the Holiday Special, with turkey and gravy and stuffing and cranberry sauce. I wish to God I had taken a picture of it. I am not kidding when I say it was one of the finest meals I've ever had.

S: I actually enjoyed Downtown Disney, 'cause I like stores. And they had some pretty weird stuff.

K: Like what? The Ariel doll?

S: That was weird. It was weird that someone had, well, you know... undressed it.

K: And weirder still was that just one of the many baby Ariel dolls appeared to be anatomically correct. The Little Mermaid vagina. I just typed that so weirdos can find us on Google. Here's a pic!

S: Also, it was pretty cute watching the kids play in the fountain.

K: I ran through it! Remember? And I didn't get wet. Also, they had a Lego store.

S: Yeah, if I recall, you got scared in that store. You got scared a lot at Downtown Disney.

K: I sure did. It was weird and different. And nighttime.

S: And at Downtown Disney, I got to see my only triple [meaning a Disney character dressed up as something else as something else]. Well, some kind of merchandise representing three different...

K: Incongruous things?

S: Yeah. Like, I saw a lot of, you know, Holiday Mickey, or Pirate Mickey, but no Holiday Pirate Mickey.

K: I wanted to see Minnie Mouse as the Virgin Mary giving birth to Pluto, but that didn't exist. However, we did get the triple...

K: It's Disney characters as Tower of Terror characters and they're also sort of Clue characters.

S: Better than nothing.

K: I don't understand why they used Pete instead of Pluto.

S: He's a dog. Dogs can't be...

K: Pluto could've been the bellhop, instead.

S: Dogs can't be bellhops.

K: Pluto would make a better bellhop than Goofy. Goofy, as that kid said, is a weirdo. I also would've liked to have seen...

S: You wanted to see Kermit Mickey.

K: That would have been the stuff of nightmares. Anyway, that was our trip! Any final thoughts on the complete package that is Walt Disney World?

S: At least I know what you're talking about now.

K: Do you miss it?

S: Actually, I was thinking about it earlier today.

K: Oh?

S: I was thinking about what a good time you had, and how it was nice to watch you have fun. I guess now I know what it's like to have a kid.

K: I'm a big boy. Do you want to go again next year?

S: No.

K: Too bad. I'm taking you there for your birthday.

Oh, Disney World! I miss you already! I wish I was there right now. But we'll always have this flickr set to remember the good times. I'll close with a picture of all we could see during the parade at Animal Kingdom.

The End.

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