The Lodge Classes Up

Today the Lodge did something that I haven't seen (or noticed) during all my time here: they invited a guest chef to come cook a classy lunch, in addition to the regular options.

Now I'm one of those people who love Food Network but isn't a foody (I enjoy eating garbage - last night for dinner I had a slice of pepperoni pizza and a bowl of Fruity Pebbles), but I still think it's pretty cool that they got Ed Brown from Eighty One to cook a risotto and shrimp dish.

And, it being the Year of Yes, I totally ordered it.



I was a bit surprised by the portion, since the Lodge usually gives you mammoth-sized servings of meatloaf or whatever, and the price was twice as much as a normal lunch, but again, this is a guest chef.

Verdict: Pretty good! I am not really a shrimp lover unless they've been fried or cooked by my mom, but I enjoyed it. Still, I'm glad I got a small serving of chicken Waldorf salad (which I'd also never seen at the Lodge before) to top off the meal.

Food: Cheers and Jeers

Cheers to Swiss Chard, and to the new cafeteria, in general.

Some time ago, the Lodge changed their food providers, and I must say there's a distinct raise in quality amongst the food. And the prices ain't bad, to boot.

Today they offered Swiss Chard, which I had never eaten before. But I like leafy green things that aren't iceberg lettuce, so I decided to Year of Yes it. And it was pretty good! Tasted basically the same as broccoli rabe or spinach. And I'm pretty sure eating this will add valuable months to my lifespan.

Jeers to Lula's Sweet Apothecary, a vegan ice cream parlor that Sarah, Lynn and I had planned to visit before seeing Death Note II.

Not that I have anything against vegan ice cream (it tastes terrific), but they get a jeer for this:


Closed?! Damn it! That's just unacceptable (barring, of course, family emergencies or the like). Doesn't Lula know that the best way to disappoint Kirks who want ice cream is to close down the ice cream parlor on the specific day they're gonna get it?

Actually, the best way to disappoint Kirks is to have them excitedly rush up to the storefront, see that it's closed, press their faces sadly against the window, read all the varieties of ice cream they will not get to choose, wonder how they're gonna kill an hour before seeing the movie, decide to go to Cold Stone Creamery to get one of those kick-ass Cake 'n' Shake milkshakes (that have real pieces of yellow cake in them), then forget where the nearest Cold Stone Creamery is, never find it, go see if Dinosaur Hill has re-opened yet, see that it hasn't, sigh heavily, get in a crappy mood, try to find decent discount clothes at the Urban Outfitters on 2nd Ave., don't find shit, then arrive late for the movie so they have to sit in a sucky area.

At least I can now skip all that nonsense and look up 1) that Dinosaur Hill is still closed and 2) where Cold Stone is (it's on Astor Place, that's right, it's near where Barnes & Noble used to be. That's why I wouldn't have been able to find it, I thought it was on 2nd Ave. somewhere).

Flansburgh and Linnell's Miracle Elixir

I'm cured, and I owe it all to Flansburgh and Linnell's Miracle Elixir! And rest assured, this is no ordinary tantimonious tonic, but a magical medicine of music and melody!

Because, really, I'm talking about They Might Be Giants and their concert last night at Le Poisson Rouge.

Yesterday I finally decided that I was done with being sick and tired, and if my wisdom teeth weren't gonna heal, eff it, I'd just return to my regular life and let them catch up. Because, seriously, a week and a half of only oatmeal and milkshakes gets to you.

So I bought some solid food and tried to eat it. I never realized that a Subway sandwich was so tall. Apparently I can't open my mouth as wide as I used to, but I was triumphant in my quest.

A minor, minor victory, and I wish that I could say it was the best sub I've ever had, or it was this delectable return to solid foods, but it was just all right.

Then, because I didn't want to spend another night cooped up indoors, I decided to see the TMBG concert.

And at first I regretted it. I felt a little woozy on painkillers, standing in place waiting for the show to start was hard, and I just really wanted to rest, but when John and John came on stage... seriously, I was cured.

It was like a blast of energy from the sun (which is not a mass of incandescent gas, actually, but a miasma of incandescent plasma) and boom, Kirk was back.

I bopped and enjoyed a good 90-minute set where they played at least one song from every one of their albums. And let me tell you, They Might Be Giants puts on a great show. I've seen them easily a dozen times since moving to New York, and I have to say this was one of my favorite concerts. Three or four encores! And they played "Cowtown" and "I Hit My Head," neither of which I'd heard live before.

This was probably my favorite Year of Yes moment so far.

Veggie Veggie Fruit Fruit

I went to the Veggie Pride Parade on Sunday.

I'm a huge sucker for parades, especially when people are in costumes. Throw in some free snacks and a wedding between an anthropomorphic carrot and pea pod, and I'm in Heaven.

Sadly, the wedding was a drizzly, low-key ceremony (I must have been expecting dancing and a procession and... to be honest, I don't know what I was expecting), and I only got solo camera shots of the bride and groom.





The snacks were hit or miss... a Vegan Slim Jim (how can such a thing exist?) called Primal Stick, which was strange and enjoyable, and this raw (or "living," as they call it, I guess) energy bar that was supposed to taste like chocolate chip cookie dough but tasted like an energy bar. I took one bite and gave the rest of it to Sarah, she said she could taste the cookie dough, but I don't know what she's talking about.

For me, the most interesting thing to come out of the Year of Yes is that I'm thinking more about healthy eating, and the possible benefits of vegetarianism. Or part-time vegeterianism, if such a thing exists.

But thinking isn't doing. I'm like those cops on last week's episode of Top Chef: Chicago. I'm probably not gonna eat healthy unless it's put under my nose and it's just as delicious as Chocolate Peanut Butter Pops, and that's the problem.

I wish someone would do something about this, but the only one who will is me. What a dilemma!

At the very least, though, I'm making small changes. After the parade, I met up with Lynn for lunch at a vegetarian Thai restaurant, and that was pretty delicious. And last week, I cooked Sarah a vegan dinner of Ginger Peanut Soba Noodles (here's a suggestion: use a lot less soy sauce, as this was salty as crap). And I don't think I'll ever go back to regular milk.

Also, after an interesting food conversation last night, I'm gonna cut soda from my diet for a while (I currently drink one root beer a day at lunch, but I can substitute it for juice, which is nature's root beer).

But on the other hand, I ate two donuts before the parade. Maybe two and a half, I forget.

I wish nutrition was as simple as the Kitchen Kabaret. Those guys made it seem so easy.

Julie (Kind of) Hearts Applebee's

Julie left a comment with her take on the Applebee's adventure. Lest it be buried with the older posts, I'm reprinting it here.

xxxxx

when you say im your oldest friend, i think its funny to imagine i am a senior citizen. and you took me along to get an extra discount.

you failed to mention our server's name was icee. or icie. or icy.
i dont think she was big on our "order from the menu throughout the evening" tactic. i think thats unheard of at applebees. atleast my family never did this growing up. maybe yours did. maybe wanda sykes did.

riblet:
the mysterious bones resembled gigantic flat toenails. finding the bone in the riblet's meat nest really was like unearthing a fossil - in a children's science museum demonstartion sort of way. we didnt know how to eat the riblets. i was under the impression we would use our hands, like we with the chicken finger. instead we had to use a fork and knife. confusion. really, i want to puke thinking about riblets.

the riblet wetnap was a pretty great souvinir (sp?). stu displays it proudly on his desk at work.

a side note about chicken fingers, i dont know why servers always default to a dipping sauce of honey mustard instead of barbecue sauce, as icy did. i prefer both, but if i had to choose one, it would always be barbecue sauce. if i got to choose three, i would also pick sour cream. try it with the bbq sauce - i swear its delicious.

in the end, the meal was a success. surprisingly i didnt feel disgusting after eating all that crap.

Year of Yes Has Failed Me!

Tuna Salad Wrap... you taste weird and different.


Never again.

Never forget.

I (Don't Really) Heart Applebee's

I'm still not sure why people are interested in my Applebee's adventure, but they are, so here's a recap.


1. Companion
I wasn't gonna get dinner alone. That's just too sad.

Practically every non-vegetarian/vegan friend who knew about the gift card wanted me to share it with them, but really, there was only person I considered. Julie is one of my oldest friends (dating back to the days of ol' St. Augustine), and she really loves crappy food.

On our very first visit (of about 100) to Walt Disney World, we brought a tape recorder and reviewed the eatery at The Land in EPCOT Center (I'm aware of the dorkiness of this sentence). I can only remember one part from that long-lost tape, when Julie complained, "Not enough variety," even though there were about... I don't remember, a half-dozen, dozen different food stations.

So Julie wins.


2. Location
Non-New Yorkers might be surprised to hear there aren't many Applebee's in the city. I think there's just one in Manhattan, in Times Square (right near my work, in fact), but it's swarming with tourists and is probably overpriced. And I'm sure there are a number of 'em out in Brooklyn or Queens, but, seriously, chain restaurants aren't that easy to find in the city.

Fortunately for me, they recently opened an Applebee's within walking distance of my apartment. Like, maybe five minutes. It's a sign from the heavens that this was supposed to happen. "Eatin' good in your neighborhood," indeed. I'm pretty sure that's the slogan.


3. Appetizer: The Ultimate Trio
I let Julie take the reins on ordering, to be honest. And she was psyched.

We decided on getting an appetizer, and not just any appetizer, but THE ULTIMATE TRIO. This was pretty smart. We'd get to pick three from the following list: Dynamite Shrimp, Mini Chicken Sandwiches, Spinach and Artichoke Dip, Steak Quesadilla Towers, Boneless Buffalo Wings, Mozzarella Sticks, Mini Bacon Cheeseburgers.

This is the official Applebee's pic of the Ultimate Trio:


We went with the Dynamite Shrimp (my pick), the Honey BBQ-flavored Boneless Buffalo Wings (Julie's pick), and the Spinach and Artichoke Dip (mutual pick).

It looked like this (pardon my blurry camera-phone):


I had low expectations for the Boneless Buffalo Wings, but they were pretty good. They reminded me of stuff you'd get at Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is one of my favorite fast food places.

And the Dynamite Shrimp, well, it's also like fast food fried shrimp. It could be described as "spicy-flavored." Not actually spicy, but spicy-flavored. I would've liked more, but this was just an appetizer.

My one complaint was with the dip. In the words of Larry Tree, "What a rip-off!" There were about six chips. Six chips is a travesty. And no one wants to eat dip off a spoon or something. I ended up dipping my Dynamite Shrimp, but spinach/artichoke/cheese does not complement spicy flavoring.

It makes me sad that I am so into shows like Top Chef and Hell's Kitchen, and yet the previous sentence betrays my unsophisticated palate.


4. Entree: Riblets and Chicken Fingers
We wisely didn't order the entree until after eating the Ultimate Trio - that way, we could fill any cravings that hadn't been satisfied by the chicken/shrimp/dip combo. Somehow, this meant we'd order more chicken in the form of fingers (Julie's choice, which I disagree with - chicken fingers, to me, are the last resort of food at any restaurant unless you're a baby) and riblets.

Riblets, sure, because it's Applebee's, and this is one of their signature dishes or something, so we might as well, right?

This is the official version of Riblets (no chicken fingers pictured, and, only in this photograph was there a side of beans):


This is what we got:


We also got this, which Julie loved and brought home for her boyfriend (it's a wetnap that has "Riblets" written on the wrapper):


OK, I'll just say riblets suck. You'd think something named "riblets" would be either a) boneless or b) like little mini-ribs, but they're not. They have this long, flat shoehorn of bone in them, so it's just as annoying as eating ribs, only without the satisfying amount of meat.

I really hated the riblets. It's like, why make food more difficult to eat? What kind of bone was this? Isn't this just processed meat? People like these things? I am legitimately angry about the riblets and should stop writing about them, because I'd just be restating my hatred in different ways.

The chicken fingers were fine.


5. Dessert: Blue Ribbon Brownie
Both of us were pretty full after the entree (and we had seriously considered just getting a second Ultimate Trio, with different choices), but we had to plough ahead with dessert.

This was not my choice, as I had a pan full of vegan brownies about five minutes away, but Julie was not interested in the weird and cheap dessert shooters they had (imagine a shooter full of cheesecake, for example), and she insisted on the brownie.

Official brownie:


Actual brownie:


Now you can't really eff up a brownie. Especially if it comes with ice cream and all sorts of chocolate sauce and crap on it. Even though I was reluctant to like it, I did, and ended up eating more than Julie.


6. Conclusion
Would I eat there again? Sure, if circumstance brought me to the restaurant. Year of Yes and all that.

Would I go there on my own again? Almost definitely not. If I was really hungry in my neighborhood, I'd either go buy a can of soup (a two-minute walk from my house) or go to Subway (about five minutes away).

Do I like Applebee's? I don't dislike it.

Did I have fun? Yeah.

Did I want the wetnap? A little.

And Gordon Ramsay, if you're reading this... please forgive me.

Eating... Still Hard.

A few examples... with hyperlinks!

1) I tend to buy snacks almost daily, because now that I'm eating earlier lunches, I get hungry and bored later in the afternoon. The most popular snacks in my life are King-sized packs of Twizzlers (which, even though I share them with Sarah, somehow last for a few days) or a four-pack of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (which I immediately eat... alone).

At a recent trip to The Outpost (1515's snack shop), Sarah convinced me to buy trail mix instead of candy. It was initially more expensive, but this stuff has lasted about a week so far, so it's pretty cost-efficient. And I know nuts and dried fruit are better than faux licorice.

I sometimes feel like the Cookie Monster being told it's good to eat things like carrot sticks and raisins instead of just cookies all the time. And I'm just a moronic Muppet that's like, "Whoa! Healthy food is good! Om nom nom nom, me love carrot sticks!"

This example is my only "victory" over the whole eating thing.

2) When I opened my desk drawer to look at the brand of trail mix a moment ago, I saw my container with one last little brownie bite in them.

I can't stop baking brownies. I really can't. And not only can I not stop baking them, I can't stop eating them. Case in point: that last brownie bite is now gone.

3) Last Sunday I had a novel idea - what if I tried to eat healthy throughout April and abstain from drinking?

The food thing because it's obviously weighing heavily on my mind, alcohol because there are a number of high-profile parties this month (notably the 2008 Derbytaunt and the notorious Wig Party), and I thought it'd be a good exercise in self-control and will power to abstain for the month of April.

Later that day, after the Series IV premiere of Doctor Who, the Who Crew celebrated in style at ChipShop, where I not only had fish and chips (how can one even look at the Fisherman's Platter after tasting the real deal?), but a Crown-stamped pint of Boddingtons.

(Why did I pick Boddingtons, out of all the British beers? Because it's the "pride of Manchester," and Manchester is the location of Life on Mars, an excellent show. Seriously, that's how impressionable I am.)

So that whole idea of a healthy April lasted... maybe six hours.

4) The soy milk? There's still some left.

5) As soon as I post this, I'm going to meet my friend Julie over at Crapplebee's to eat horrible things.

This isn't fully my fault. My well-meaning grandparents gave me a gift card to the restaurant for Xmas. Normally, I would probably never eat at this restaurant ever, and I mean that seriously, I could spend the rest of my life without setting foot in one. Or a Chili's. But not, I hope to God, an Arby's. Or an In-N-Out Burger.

Anyway, it would be a breach of etiquette to not use the gift card and so, after four months of making plans and canceling, I'm gonna do it.

Also, it's creepy/interesting how many of my friends wanted to be my eating partner in this adventure. Nearly everyone I told was like, "Oh, I'll go with you!" like Crapplebee's is the splendor of the Earth. I'm still a little confused and amused about that.

So, yes, eating... still hard.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to clear out this gift card on ridiculous foodstuffs.

Eating is Hard.

It really is.

If it wasn't for my office's cafeteria, my diet would consist almost entirely of split pea soup and Subway sandwiches. At least The Lodge feeds me a breakfast of a crappy cup of fruit and a cup of (probably not) fresh-squeezed orange juice every morning.

I rarely go food shopping, but this weekend I picked up some more supplies for vegan brownies (this new batch, by the way, turned out much better than the first - very moist and not at all crumbly). And I got a few cans of soup and some other crap, too.

They had cereal on sale, so I got that. Year of Yes! Also, I'm an idiot and I always forget that "2 for $6" does not mean that I have to buy two boxes for such great savings. I can and should just buy one.

So I got two boxes of cereal, one that's dessert-y (Cocoa Pebbles) and one that's healthy (Fruity Pebbles), and since you shouldn't eat cereal with water or orange juice, I had to get some milk.

I rarely buy milk because 1) I rarely go shopping and 2) I forget to drink it and then it goes bad and I have to throw it away. But when I do buy some, I've lately been getting that Lactaid stuff. I don't know what it is, exactly, but I assume it's good for you. It is, right?

This time, I eschewed (vocabulary!) the Lactaid and got soy milk. Year of Yes! I KNOW soy milk is healthy. I don't know why, exactly, but it is. They also had low-fat soy milk, but that makes no sense to me, so I just went with the regular.

For me, this is a big stride toward being healthy. Yet I know in reality, there's nothing healthy about what I'm doing whatsoever, including the delicious pan of vegan brownies.

Eating is hard.

PS: I've eaten two bowls of cereal since going shopping, mostly to be polite. At this rate, I wonder if the soy milk will go bad before I finish it.

Eating

I've been thinking a lot about eating lately, specifically, my terrible diet and what I should do about it.

These troublesome thoughts started when I took Lynn out to a nice vegetarian restaurant (she's a vegan) for her birthday. The food was pretty good - fancier than anything I'm used to or could ever hope to make, but very enjoyable. And if it's vegan, it's good for you, right?

Then on Friday, Sarah (also a vegan) and I made a vegetable stir fry dinner, and it was also very tasty. I couldn't stop thinking about how damn healthy this was for me, and if I ate like this more often... or all the time... then surely my life would become fantastic.

We also made vegan brownies, which are just as good as regular ones. I could eat those all day long, and since they're vegan, they're good for you.

After Saturday's Irish Peddlers rehearsal, I was so effing hungry. Being in the East Village, I stopped into Paul's Palace (a famous burger joint) for a bacon cheeseburger. There's a review on the wall that says something like, "Sometimes you just want a burger," and I was like, "Yeah, I do. I DO want a burger."

This was a bit of a bad idea. Cheeseburgers are such a terrible vice (Comic Book Guy: "Loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix."), they're delicious, but so bad for you. I felt full and gross for the rest of the day. Maybe I just ate too much (my eyes are usually bigger than my stomach), or maybe my body was saying, "Go back to the stir fry, idiot."

Whatever the case, that got me seriously thinking maybe I should change my diet. After all, it's the Year of Yes... although I'm not quite sure what I'm Yessing in this situation.

And then I got some advice from the man himself, Gordon Ramsay (one of my favorite people on TV ever). On Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, he asked someone, "You're a vegetarian? Why would you put yourself through that?" And I had to admit he makes a good point. Not only is he a chef, so he knows what he's talking about, but he's also on TV.

I was thinking about it all throughout Sunday's rehearsals, and when I got home, I was effing starving again (I'm almost always effing starving), so I bought one of those hot pastrami sandwiches they're promoting at Subway.

I eat at Subway a lot, much more than anyone who isn't Jared should, but it's quick and easy and cheap and, most importantly, it's right by my apartment.

I'd like to say the hot pastrami sandwich was an experiment - if it made me sick (and it probably would), that'd be a sign I should ease up on the crap. But really, I just wanted to try it.

And damn... it was GOOD. Maybe I was just starving, but seriously, I'm not kidding when I say it belongs in one of the Top Ten Meals I've Ever Eaten. Reading that sentence, I think it must've been because I was just so damn hungry.

Anyway, the jury's still out on this whole diet thing. But I AM thinking about it.